Category Archives: Life

STOP!!!

That’s what you do when you see the red light, or signage. That’s what you should do when pulled over for traffic violations. You just stop.

STOP begging people to see you, to hear you, to heal you, to help you, to read you, to write you. Stop pinning for them to like you, accept you, to lift you, to raise you, to call you, to work with you, to endorse you, to believe you, to be with you or to love you. Continue reading

The Inconvenience of Singleness

We must begin to treat our Single people right. The societal stereotype that we subtly place on unmarried people sometimes ranging from desperados, not enough, not having a choice etc has to STOP.

I have witnessed the near reverential treatment shown to young girls just because they got married, and the parallel condescending dismissive treatment dispensed to some older women/men because they aren’t yet married. That is why a 25 year old married Mary is referred to as ‘Madam’ while a 39 year old unmarried Jane is ‘Jane’ within our cultural context.

Sadly this has seeped into offices, businesses and especially religious bodies. The trumped up labels, the prejudiced call for deliverance, the segregation and polite interrogations of ‘When are you going to call us to celebrate and eat rice?’ specifically directed towards singles. The assumption that singleness is a crime, a consequence warranting contempt is credulous. The typical disintegration of friendships not because the relationship doesn’t fulfill purpose per se, but because a member of the pack got ‘promoted’ to marriage is downright amusing.

Every married person was once unmarried. And even those married may still become single. No one was born married and there are no perpetual guarantees in life. The Single person has a right to live, breathe and thrive in their singleness. No future desire for marriage should hinder a full vibrant present filled with personal development. If they choose to fly, let them. Should they want to build, let them. If property investment is their choice, let them. If they choose to be single, please let them.

Honestly, Society we need to do better. We are better than this. Remove the labels, peel off the stereotypes, unlearn cultural nuances that does not serve kindness & human compassion. And above, let’s commit to stop putting single people on the spot with our suspicions, well wishes, good intentions, systemic ‘spiritual’ declarations and social expectations. Commit to treating them with the Understanding and Dignity their waiting deserves.

I have witnessed both sides of the divide, therefore I cannot pretend to be Uninvolved.

I refuse to define an Individual by their journey when they have a destination. I refuse to relate to people by their status or treat them as mere Statistics.

~┬ędreden 12.06.16

When Christmas Isn’t Christmassy.

It’s Christmas season again. And Today, my Heart goes out to those who feel they have no reason to celebrate. Those whose Christmas will be ‘unusual’ because of the absence of a loved one, a separation, loneliness or grief. Financial, domestic or even economic displacement. Perhaps No job, no home or even a country to return to. Missing family members, hospital bound relatives, empty fireplaces, zero presents under the tree. Continue reading

The Other Room

I make fond memories in the living room I let sweet hospitality flow from the kitchen room I increase wisdom & knowledge in the study room And decrease ignorance in the counseling room I grow in faith, kneel in petition in my prayer room I lift my praise, & fix my gaze on His Throneroom I teach, I train, I reach the pain in the conference room I scream, I play with my kids many ways in the children’s room I deepen and receive unconditional love, in the bedroom Continue reading