The Inconvenience of Singleness

We must begin to treat our Single people right. The societal stereotype that we subtly place on unmarried people sometimes ranging from desperados, not enough, not having a choice etc has to STOP.

I have witnessed the near reverential treatment shown to young girls just because they got married, and the parallel condescending dismissive treatment dispensed to some older women/men because they aren’t yet married. That is why a 25 year old married Mary is referred to as ‘Madam’ while a 39 year old unmarried Jane is ‘Jane’ within our cultural context.

Sadly this has seeped into offices, businesses and especially religious bodies. The trumped up labels, the prejudiced call for deliverance, the segregation and polite interrogations of ‘When are you going to call us to celebrate and eat rice?’ specifically directed towards singles. The assumption that singleness is a crime, a consequence warranting contempt is credulous. The typical disintegration of friendships not because the relationship doesn’t fulfill purpose per se, but because a member of the pack got ‘promoted’ to marriage is downright amusing.

Every married person was once unmarried. And even those married may still become single. No one was born married and there are no perpetual guarantees in life. The Single person has a right to live, breathe and thrive in their singleness. No future desire for marriage should hinder a full vibrant present filled with personal development. If they choose to fly, let them. Should they want to build, let them. If property investment is their choice, let them. If they choose to be single, please let them.

Honestly, Society we need to do better. We are better than this. Remove the labels, peel off the stereotypes, unlearn cultural nuances that does not serve kindness & human compassion. And above, let’s commit to stop putting single people on the spot with our suspicions, well wishes, good intentions, systemic ‘spiritual’ declarations and social expectations. Commit to treating them with the Understanding and Dignity their waiting deserves.

I have witnessed both sides of the divide, therefore I cannot pretend to be Uninvolved.

I refuse to define an Individual by their journey when they have a destination. I refuse to relate to people by their status or treat them as mere Statistics.

~┬ędreden 12.06.16

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